Life Goes on.

I understand we’ve drifted apart and that there are somethings we cant forget, and there will always be things that we both do that bug each other, but i miss you.

and I’m sorry for letting this all get away from me and not just talking to you about it. I’m sorry that I let my anger get between us. I wish we could go back to normal.

too late

You should try it for once.

Because if you don’t, I’m done.

I’m changing for you I’m trying to fit your mold, why can’t you put in a little bit of effort for me?

I understand all of your beliefs cancel mine out, but for once can’t you just be okay with me having my own?

When I constantly have to hold myself back in this relationship, you should understand that something is wrong.

I know I have my faults and I’m not always accepting, where did I learn it.

And even when I’m not why do I always have to still agree with yours?

Agreeing and accepting isn’t the same thing.

I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I am saying I’m not the only one who needs to work on it.

You’ve have 48 years, I’ve had 16, you should be better at it than me.

Then why does it feel like I’m doing the teaching?

Everyone has those moments that they can point to and say that’s where everything changed.  Now this may be a line from One Tree Hill but this is the way life’s going right now.  It seems that my moments that changed everything are moments I can’t let go of, they are the reason I hold on to things, they are the reason I put barriers up, they are the things that seem to stop me in my tracks.  No this wouldn’t be that bad but add on top of it that I’m the type of person who never forgets and rarely forgives, they go hand in hand.  I’m also the kind of person who likes answers and I can’t let it go until I get them.  I can’t seem to move past things.  It’s as if I’m afraid that when I let go ill lose something.  But I’m beginning to realize that all I will lose is the anger, frustration and sadness these events bring me.  By holding on I’m holding myself back.  I can forgive without forgetting and cannot need to know and be okay with it.  No everything in life isn’t fair but by focusing on what is unfair I’m missing out on all the great possibilities around me. So what if you are singing too loudly, so what if you are overly happy or tired. I don’t have to get mad at you just because I’m not.  I can still care about what’s happening and remember it and not get angry about it.  by moving on I’m not only making myself happier, I’m making myself a better person to be around and I’m sure quite a few people could do with me being better to be around.  So for lent I wasn’t going to give something up but I’ve changed my mind.  It may not be something that I’m going to be perfect at or that is going to be easy but I’m going to try and give up being angry, or rather I’m not going to be angry at the little things.  This is my goal. It takes 21 days to make a habit and I’ve got 40 to do it.